Heroine?: Should women pursue men?

“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs” ― Roman Payne

I’ve noticed a trend in modern movies and television. A few weeks ago, I was watching a TV show called Once Upon A Time. It’s a show about Disney characters that have been imported into our world and live in a town called Storybrooke. In the season 4 finale, the main character, Emma, convinces Regina to go after her soulmate who is now with someone else:

Emma: Your happiness is still a possibility; your first step is going after the man you love.

Regina: My happy ending isn’t a man.

Emma: Of course not, but love is a part of all happiness and you have to be open to that. Go to him, all you have to do is tell him how you feel.

Regina: Oh is that all? You forgot to mention the part where I’d have to crash his wedding!

Emma: What does your heart tell you?

Regina: I know what my heart says, but what if his doesn’t say the same thing?

Emma: Isn’t that a risk you’re willing to take?

I thought that was kind of interesting: females encouraging other females to be emotionally vulnerable and courageous in romantic pursuit of their inamorato (male lover). Then I thought about it, and nowadays, this is totally normal. In fact, I dare say this is the expectation. There is a new dating app called Bumble, which supports my theory.

Bumble matches you with compatible singles in your area. If you’re a match, it gives the woman 24 hours to make initial contact with the man otherwise the match disappears. However, a man can extend the deadline for another 24 hours, giving you a second chance to reach out to him.

I don’t know if this is necessarily “good” or “bad.” I like that I am free and able to initiate dialogue and connections. But on the other hand, I am much more comfortable being courted and pursued. When I would read fairy tales as a kid I remember the King would move heaven and earth to win a date or a dance with the Queen. And today, it is considered a “treat” when a man opens the door for a woman…

And so I wonder, are strong female initiators creating a new trend in love and romance? Are we, by initiating, eroding the standards we so desire? Do we desire to be courted and pursued? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Jessica is an employment specialist for marginalized youth in Toronto, Canada. She enjoys teaching, traveling and observing - especially the relationship between mind and heart. Jessica also has a passion for outdoor walks, dancing, and all things offbeat and authentic. You can contact her at hello@sofiasynergy.com.

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Genevieve Recent comment authors
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THIS IS SO TRUE! Most of my girlfriends go after men as if it’s totally normal and expected. I’m not sure 75% of men even know HOW to court a woman. I’ve always wondered if this is a downside to feminism…