For a long time, I sang the anthem of self-pity: “There are no good Orthodox men!” I’d proclaim, “Where have they all gone?! The Church has been vacated by men who have taken the easy route and left us with slim pickings.” But then, I started to connect with members of the community who were genuinely kind, respectful, Orthodox men that were interested in finding a nice Orthodox woman.
I was in awe – and – I had been proven wrong. (Yes, that hurt.) Even though it’s true, our community does have a crisis, wherein many men have abandoned the Orthodox way of life and headed out into the world and chosen a different lifestyle, there are still, in fact, many honorable, wonderful people that are looking for a spouse who is also on the path towards salvation.
Today, I am excited to share their stories on Sofia Synergy.
“A true connection”
Every guy has their own view of what their dream woman should be. Over the years I’ve discussed the topic with countless relatives, friends, and acquaintances. Some of them say I’m picky but others tell me I’m realistic. Any girl can have a pretty face, a career, and an outgoing personality. A true connection goes far deeper than that for me.
I believe in helping my church and feel the right girl should share this view. This belief was instilled by my parents and cannot be compromised. How can we have a loving, everlasting bond with someone if our relationship with God isn’t a strong as it should be?
A woman’s character can be measured in many ways. To me, strength is revealed when she can manage to keep herself emotionally intact in a time of crisis. Life provides many ups and downs and it’s comforting to know you can rely on someone who can keep you upbeat when circumstances aren’t the best.
Commitment also reigns supreme. In a world where many relationships are destroyed through varying channels of social media, it is refreshing to be able to talk to someone who finds you as important to them as they are to you.
Have I met this girl? Not yet. Through prayer and belief in the Lord, I trust she will eventually reveal herself.
“A common foundation”
I think a lot of what you look for in your future is rooted in your past, and when building my forever relationship, having a common foundation on which we can build our lives together is crucial.
I’m really lucky to say I was raised in a family that honors their parents, greatly values education and constant learning, being opinionated (read: slightly stubborn) and being able to listen, as well as building up our daughters and sisters to believe that they can achieve anything, is very important to me. Hard work, discipline, selflessness and faith in yourself are also the guiding principles my family has instilled in me. And so those are the pillars of my “dream woman’s” character as well.
But more than that, I also look for someone who is kind and ambitious, has strengths where I have weaknesses and, most importantly, is able to laugh with me when life thinks it’s being funny…and drink with me when it’s being a bonafide prick.
“Full of grace in both prosperous and difficult times”
I have yet to meet my dream woman. Years of dating and a few serious relationships have given me some ideas on the characteristics of such a woman. I imagine my dream woman is compassionate, faithful, loyal, and intellectual with a zest for life and a sense of humor. Life is a wondrous thing. There is much to enjoy, experience, and explore; and having someone along for life’s adventures makes it even better.
Life can also be filled with challenges and difficulties. We all have our own set of emotional, spiritual, and psychological baggage. Compassion, faithfulness, and loyalty are essential characteristics needed by both partners. It is no secret that there are no guarantees in life. Money, health, and stability can come and go, which makes these traits all that more important. The dream woman is full of grace in both prosperous and difficult times.
Sadly, changing social and cultural norms seem to complicate and confuse how we approach a potential wife or husband. We consider many earthly needs rather than spiritual and emotional needs, consider factors and characteristics that are not at all prudent. My prayer, as it always has been, is to find someone that understands what love truly is, a complete and willing sacrifice of one’s entire self to the other. That is my dream woman. I pray that I can be a dream man in return to such a blessed woman.
Thank you, Mark, Alexander, and Nader for sharing your truth with us! I was really surprised by how many common themes were present in all three of your descriptions, such as values of loyalty, commitment, faithfulness, inner strength, and compassion. I hope and pray you find what you’re looking for. And, if I can in any way, shape or form, help facilitate the matchmaking, please do let me know. I wish you all the best!
P.S. You might also like to read “Describe your dream man.”